How to not be a jerk on the Internet: tips from Dayton experts

These are tense times on the interwebs, friends.

When every Joe Schmoe and Busybody Betty is given a platform to express themselves on everything from politics and religion to celebrities and cat videos, things are sure to get heated. Add in complicated, real-life aspects like family members, co-workers and social circles, and social media can certainly feel like a war zone with your sanity (and sometimes, your friendships) falling to casualties.

Inspired by blogger and social media powerhouse Luvvie Ajayi's forthcoming book I'm Judging You: The Do Better Manual, we polled local social media experts and mega-users to give you these tips on how not to be a jerk on social media.

"Don't say something on social media that you couldn't tell someone in person comfortably without fearing consequences like a verbal altercation. I live by this and it works." -- Tom Gilliam, Tom Gilliam Photography, @daytongram

"Don't define someone by their opinion on one topic that you disagree with. And, check whether you'd say this if you actually knew the person. If you wouldn't say it to their face, back off. You can express a dissenting opinion without name-calling, insults, or wishing grave misfortune on someone else." -- Jenny Rapson, For Every Mom, @jennyitup

"Realize when you're not going to change the mind of the person with whom you disagree, and stop. It might mean biting your tongue (metaphorically) but when discourse becomes repetitive or aggressive, everyone loses. Quit while you're ahead and say 'You know what? I don't think either of us is going to change our minds. Thanks for your perspective, I appreciate it. Good luck!'" -- Sarah Caplan, Information Development Coordinator at the Dayton Better Business Bureau,  @sbcappy

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"I'm not a fan of the friend/follower collecting on personal accounts. I prefer to only bring in people who are interested in engaging with me and me with them. I also think it's supportive to like your friends' posts when possible instead of ignoring them." -- Nicki Royce, Femme Fatale Fitness, @nickicz

"When I see someone being an a**hole on social media I like to reply with, 'Who hurt you?' It's enough to kind of snap them into place, and I *like* to think that maybe they'll actually think about why they're choosing to be an a**hole." -- Ben Douglas, Communication Specialist, @bennybeneficial

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"A) Think how you'd feel if someone wrote it to you. B) Think if you'd want your grandmother to read it. C) Think if it's going to improve the situation - or just make you look smart or snarky." -- Joe Deer, Distinguished Professor of Musical Theatre at Wright State University, @mitinitiative

"If you're a jerk in real life then it'll probably carry over due to ignorance or just not caring. But to answer the question of say:
- Remember: everything doesn't warrant a response.
- Your opinions/input isn't the blueprint to the way of life. People have different ways of thinking so respect it.
- Keep the "Freedom of Speech" BS as an excuse for being a bigot.
- If you wouldn't say it to their face, then don't say it online.
- Don't let a keyboard and screen give you license to say things you wouldn't in real life.
- Don't like what someone said or a groups lifestyle? Keep it to yourself if it doesn't directly affect your life.
- Oh, it does affect you? Be an adult and have an adult dialogue, or take it to private messages.

- And the GOLDEN RULES: think before you post, and treat others how you'd want to be treated." --
Jordan Hockett, Founder of @daytonbaton and Social Media Expert at Cox Media Group Ohio, @_jhock

And this reporter's best advice -- your social media is your space, full stop. You are not obligated to have anyone in any circle you don't want them to be in, and you owe no one any explaination.

Don't be shy -- share your best social media advice with us and best of luck out there!

Want to share your social media tips with us? Drop reporter Tabatha Wharton a note with your best stuff: tabatha.wharton@coxinc.com.

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