Why you should sue everyone, including the woman who sued gay people

Sylvia Ann Driskell is well… um…. inspirational?!?

The 66-year-old Nebraska human being is suing “Homosexuals, their given name Homosexuals, their alias Gays” on the on behalf of God and his son Jesus Christ.

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The lawsuit against all homosexuals is stupid and offensive on soooo many levels. Besides, God does not need some dumb-dumb to sue on his behalf.

I should file a federal lawsuit against Sylvia Ann Driskell for having the unmitigated gall to sue for God.

But instead, I am going to be “inspired” by her apparent litigiousness and ability to write cursive in the age of the Internet. Yes, her lawsuit was handwritten. How could it not be?

Sylvia Ann Driskell’s recent federal lawsuit reaffirms that nearly anyone can sue nearly anyone whenever nearly anyone wants to and for any reason anyone wants.

It is the American dream.

I don’t make the rules. I just live by ‘em.

In the spirit of Sylvia Ann Driskell, I am going to seriously consider filing lawsuits against all the people I don’t understand and/or like. I also may sue some friends and relatives just because I can.

Litter bugs top my list — particularly those who habitually throw cigarette butts on the ground from car windows.

It is a sickening act.

Source: Shutterstock

Time and time again, society has shown that it will tolerate such behavior. These people deserve to be court marshalled or, at the very least, lashed.

I am also very much against parents who sit idly by as their kids run wild in restaurants.

Being a laissez faire parent is clearly a mortal sin, especially when someone is trying to enjoy a piping hot basket of Cheddar Bay Biscuits in peace.

I will perhaps seek damages from people who honk their horns the millisecond the light changes.

Being impatient is not only annoying, it is unholy and rude. RUDE!

Someone — those people — should have to pay.

“Cat haters, their given name Cat Haters, their alias People who Hate Cats,” should be tried in a court of law for treason.

Not only are these people inhumane, they are infeline — and in my book, that is the worst-case scenario.

Anyone in the universe who thinks the original “Star Trek” series is better than “Star Trek: The Next Generation” should expect to be served with court documents outlining why they owe me $87 million each collectively and individually.

Source: Shutterstock

TNG is clearly the superior show and Capt. Jean-Luc Picard is the far better captain. Kirk who?

Believing the contrary is an offense to not only humanity, but catanity.

There is no bigger crime.

Contact this blogger at amelia.robinson@coxinc.com or Twitter.com/DDNSmartMouth

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