Happy new year, homeslice!

AMELIA ROBINSON: Hey homeslice, the joy of ‘Happy New Year’ is clear

“Happy New Year!”

It’s the 5th, so you probably would not look at me funny if you heard me say it.

Come Feb. 31 (yeah, I know), you’d think me a loon if you heard me say it.

I’ll take it.

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Some of the greatest people throughout history have been thought of as loony at one time or another.

I love saying “Happy New Year” and always have.

And why shouldn’t I?

It does the heart good to shower goodwill on others.

Go ahead and wish yourself a Happy New Year.

Didn’t that feel marvelous?

With “Happy New Year,” there is a wonder in wishing others prosperity and joy that is not found in other greetings.

That wonder is not in “hello,” and “happy birthday” is limited in time and knowledge.

You can only say “happy birthday” on a person’s birthday and you have to actually know it is a person’s birthday for the wish to make sense.

“Happy New Year” has its own limitations, too.

It sadly doesn’t make sense to wish someone a Happy New Year after the thing gets going.

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The year isn’t new after a point even though surely you’d want others to be happy.

Speaking of happy, saying it would not be enough without the year or the new.

Happy what?!?

I suppose “best wishes” is the most effective pleasantry we have going for ourselves after the holiday season has expired.

The phrase “warmest regards” is a little creepy to hear or speak.

Try it.

I told you so.

In truth, “best wishes” is the Rodney Dangerfield of greetings and has thus not lived up to its full potential.

Disrespected and stomped upon, it has been shortened to “best” at the end of far too many emails sent by public relations professionals named Lauren.

Best what?!?

FOR SHAME!

It has been decided that I am working “best wishes” into daily conversation.

You: Well, see you later, alligator.

Me: Best wishes.

You: Byeeeeeee.

Me: Best wishes.

You: Peace out, homeslice.

Me: Best wishes.

You: That will be $17.95.

Me: Best wishes.

My mouth will be saying best wishes, but you and I know that I will mean Happy New Year.

Happy New Year, homeslice.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Amelia Robinson is a reporter, columnist and podcaster for the Dayton Daily News and Dayton.com. Amelia is an Oregon District resident who has been covering the Dayton community for 20 years. She covers topics including dining, nightlife, entertainment and the people, places and things that make Dayton a great place to live, work and play. She is the host of the National Association of Broadcasters Marconi award-nominated podcast “What Had Happened Was …” about the people and places of Dayton. She has been the author of the Smart Mouth column for the Dayton Daily News for 15 years. The column, which appears in Sunday’s Dayton Daily News Life & Arts section, was recognized as the best newspaper column in Ohio this year. Amelia appears on WHIO Radio’s “Miami Valley Morning News” every Friday and “Miami Valley Happenings with Jason Michaels” every Sunday. Amelia is also president and a founding member of the Greater Dayton Association of Black Journalists. She also serves on the boards of the Dayton Sister City Committee and Oregon Historic District Society.

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